Understanding Self-sabotage and Steps to overcome it :

Heard of the term self-sabotage but don't know what it is? Or have you identified patterns of self-sabotage in your life and need to break free of them? Maybe it was a bit of both that made you click on this article. So let's dive in and find out what you're here for.


Self-sabotage begins when you are looking for a way out. When there is something about your situation that doesn't seem to work out for you anymore. If you find yourself binge-watching Netflix while your work piles up in the foreground, know you are not immune to the sneaky fiend called self-sabotage.


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Phrases like, "why do I keep doing this?" or "I can't do this," are another way to clue you in on your self-saboteur patterns. You find yourself trapped in a vicious cycle that creates problems and undermines your worth and goals. Implying, that you acknowledge that there's something you genuinely want and know it's good for you but then you do things that directly conflict with your goals and values.


We can press the button to self-destruct in plenty of ways. Some can be obvious while others can be quite harder to recognize; so here's a list of ways we self-sabotage ourselves every day:


  • Avoiding people and situations that make you uncomfortable.

  • Staying within your comfort zone and avoiding change.

  • Trying to control others and situations around you.

  • Attempting to gain others’ approval.

  • Comparing yourself to others.

  • Social withdrawal or isolation.

  • Risky behavior (such as drugs, gambling, or overspending).

  • Creating conflict with romantic partners, loved ones, friends, or co-workers.

  • Taking actions that don't match your values or goals.

  • Staying in toxic or abusive situations and relationships.


Now that we know what sets us down the road to damaging our professional and personal growth, let's talk about tips to get back on track.


1. Be compassionate to understand your self-sabotage needs and their purpose.

For example, your procrastination helps you avoid your fear of failure or substance abuse coming in to deal with the amount of stress you might be dealing with.


2. Recognize healthier ways to fulfill your needs.

For example: If you tend to stress-eat, you can find ways to let off the stress in healthier ways, like going on a walk or taking a long hot shower.


3. Anticipate challenges and plan for them.

For example: If you tend to procrastinate a lot, know that there will be distractions. Therefore, create a workspace free from the things that might distract you in the process, like getting rid of the games on your phone.


4. Practice getting comfortable with failure.

For example: While failure might bring up some negative emotions it can also mean that the missed opportunity just gave you more free time to work on your passion, or that failed relationship was a way out of something toxic.


5. Know what you want.

For example: If you feel unfulfilled in a job and are unconsciously looking for a way out, you might start pressing play on the new Netflix movie while still at work. Knowing what you want out of your career can help you get out of the slump.


6.Know when to seek help.

You don't need to work through all of the tough moments on your own. Seek help from friends and family or even a professional if you feel like your self-sabotage behavior has begun to affect your life dramatically



The article is written by Shweta Jha. Shweta Jha is a freelance content writer. She's passionate about women's empowerment, mental health and other social issues. Reach out to her at shwetajha.femiliarize@gmail.com.


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